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NO. 86. • 



DRAMA, 



^LACK VS WHITE. 



/^' 



im* 



« 



WITH CASt OF CHARACTERS, KNTRANCES, AXD EXITS, RELATIVE POSITIONS j3 

OK THE VERFORMEES ON THE STAGE, DESCRIPT-ON OF COS- ^ 

TUMES, AND THE WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS, ^ 

AS PERFORMED AT TUE PRINCIPAL ^ 

AMERICAN AND ENGLISH ^ 

THEATRES. '■■ yi 



CLYDE, OHIO: 
D. AMES, PUBLISHER 





Class _BS_h3_5_ 
Gopyiight N" . 



COPYRIGHT DEPOSn^ 



Black Vs White, 



—OK.- 



THE NIGGER AND YANKEE. 

AN ORICIML FARCE, 



GEeo* S. -Yautrot, Esq. 

Author of, The False Friend; At Last, a temperance play, etc, 

With a description of costumes, characters, entrances and exits, relative 
positions on the stage, and the whole of the stage business, careful- 
ly marked from the Author's own manuscript. 



/Respectfully dedicated to the Arcadian Dramatic Club of Mobile, Alabama. 



— 'O'-^^^-^'O- 



/?3} ^; 



Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year ISSO, hy 

A. D. AMES, 
In the office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington, 



CLYDE, OHIO. 

A. i). AMES, Publisher. 



/ 

."0 



BLACK VS WHITE. 



^^>^ 

1.'^ 



CHARACTERS. 

Cesar ^4 Mobile neivsboy, afterwards Dowd's servant 

Ezekiel Smith A Yankee 

James Julip Dowd's Nephew 

Charles Dowd A retired merchant 

May Sprite In love with Julip 

Mrs. Sharp A Widow 



COSTUMES. 

CESAR. — 1st. dress ; newsboy's ragged suit. 2d. dress; neat suit. 
■ SMITH. — White beaver hat, swallowtail coat, striped pantaloons, stand- 
ing collar, yellow cravat. 

DOWD 



Iflj^ [ Modern. 

Mrs SHARP 



PROPERTIES. 

Table, chairs, books on table, letter, pistol, jack knife, plug of tobacco, 
spittoons, picture in a case, a note, bundle of newspapers, a jewsharp, a 
cooked sweet potatoe, basin of water, large cheese knife, cord, pail. 



Time of performance.— Thirty- fire minutet 



TMPS2-007455 



Black Vs White. 

ACT I. 
SCENE FmaT.-I>o.a;,arlor. 15S L, mm Qo.crn^,nlUr.ei 

again, taie., it off, sighs very d^ectldl^.' ^ *' *"*'" ''■^*" *•"' ?"«» •<.<"» 

, my ambition. (,fcr«/y) I dou' care to ifv^ .„ "^ ""^f'' "5' P'"". «-na 
„ow,^as_at_any ot.er time. ,,..s%.sJTh1:u^;f:{' ^IfZCllf^i^, 
Enler Smith c. takes in the situation. 

yon^;?g„t^?nl^o'T:i;'^af■"• """ •"* -^ " -'g-.y dangerous weepon 
Julip. Why— what {'J ^^-^ip drops pistol. 

Smith. What'a the matter with v^r ? -rit, «„+• 
an' got the colic ? ^ ^ ^'"^ ®^^*°S cowcumbers fer dinner 

Julip. No. 

<^wi7A. Bin eating green apples ? 

of.' fe«««5'«^^) No, you W. 
I dt'tlike^'ir ^'"^ ^^^^' ^*^^°^^^' ^°-'* ^o to callin' a fellow hard names, 
yojt?;i/„^o?wr^^^^ of this letter, 

keS a ma^'fiTstr '^""^ ' "^ ^"^^^ ^^^''-« - - -^- disease, whar dew it 
Julip. I am broken hearted. 

»o«/«/r««A«0 JeVyertakraeoo7„o'."l°''!"'°J'«??"'l»'- <?"* *'«''* 
.tjon.do ye good, my l>r,Ti^^i::^^%^^^,\^-^^'lll:l^l^^_ 

wo'^M^-nd^fo':' mJtotasfe i't"" " ''""^ ^'"P'"^' ""O -"""g "nder the .un 

^^nt Jk*" °'r'''° ^l" Jenkins, I will. 
^Jul,p. Then, ,f you „i„ ,,u , „„^,„^ j ^„, ^^„ ^_^^ ^^^^^ ^ ^^^^ ^^^ 

i«irfiV.^4^^^.lrd-?t?o^L:r;^ of .a.uu,h.er 



* BLACK vs. WHITE. 

JuHp. I'll be back presently. [exit r. 2 e. 

Smith, (seats himself at table, takes out knife and commences to carve his 
name on table) That chap's the funniest rooster I ever did <^ee ; got the — the 
{scratches head) I'll swan to gracious, if I hii'int done forg )t what he siid 
was the matter with him. [takes out plug of tobacco and takes a chew, sp ts 
on floor) This here's party good terbacky (sses spittoon take^ up one and 
examines it) I wonder what them things is here for. {pats spittoon down re- 
seats himself) They must be ter set the room ofFI recuoti. If I wa'nt afraid 
the boss would git mad, I'd spit in one of them boxes — but I hate to dirty 
anything with — 

Enter Julip, b. 2 e. interrupting him. 

Juhp. Here my friend, you are spoiling my uncle's carpet, by spitting 
tobacco juice on it. 

Smith. Wall, that's the way I du down ter my gal's home, and she don't 
never say nothin' about it, an' 'side I didn't see no place ter spit, an' I 
could not swaller it, I tried that once an' it made me sick, 

Julip. There are the spitt-'ons, why didn't you use one of them? 
Smith, (picks up one— looks at it with astonishment) What I Je-ru-sa- 
lem, make snakes ! Spit in one of them purty boxes ? Kinder thunk they 
was put here ter set off the room. 

Julip. So they are ; but they are also put there for use. But here is what 
I want you to do. I want you to take this note to Miss May Sprite, at the 
<jorner of the next street, and Avait for an answer. 4 

Smith, (puts finger to nose with a knowing look — aside) I never thunk of 
Bich a thing, now I knows what's the matter with this soap locks. He's 
got a instautainous combustication of the heart, cotched it while swingin* 
on somebody's gate arter the old folks was in bed, an' the moon wa'nt 
phinin'. 

Julip. (impatiently) What are you talkin about? 
Smith. Ain't talkin' 'bout nothin, — only thinking out loud. 
Julip. Will you take it? 

Smith. Sartinly, sartinly I but how am I ter know the gal ? 
Juhp. (thinks— takes picture from pocket) There's her picture, look at it 
well, and you cannot fail to know her. (Smith looks at the picture) Do you 
think you would know her — know her at sight? 
Smith. Sartin I would, sartin sure. 

Julip. Come to think of it, she's always accompanied by an old aunt, 
who is immensely rich, and who keeps a strict guard upon her. The old 
lady thinks every one is after her neice on account of the money she is ex- 
pected to get, so you will have to be carelul. Do my errand faithfully and 
my gratitude shall be yours. (gives note — exit r. 

Smith, [loalks about stage — hands in pocket) She alius goes out with her 
aunt — old lady's got lots of tin ; young gal expects ter git it — old lady 
thinks everybody's arter the gal on account of this money she's goin' ter 
git. (stops) Them ere is purty good reasons why he wants her himself. 
But I don't think he will — look a here Mr. Ezekiel Smith, you're a good 

lookin' chap I'll do it — I'll do it. You'd better look out Mister — mister 

— mister — may I be stuffed with a fifteen cent free lunch if 1 know what his 
name is — well, Mister Spoons \y\\\ will du jest as well, I'm goin, in fer that 
gal, I'm arter matrimony, an' a little more fer the money, (exit l, 1 E. 

Enter Dowd, c. in a rage. 

Dowd. I want a good, smart, active, man servant — I'm tired of these wo- 
men. They are forever talking about something that doesn't concern me at 
all, it's one continual complaint, I am sick of it. They always wrmt to do 
things in an appropriate way — I'll get a man, and then I'll see whether 

Cesar. 'Ere's yer mornin' papers, all about de terrible rale-rode bust up, 
,an' combustion I All de latest newe from Washington 1 (outside) 

Dowd. (goes to r. 2 f. calls) Here, boy, bring me a paper, 

Cesar, (outside) All right, boss, be dar in a minnit, soon's I change dis 
hundred dollar bill for dis fellar. 



BLACK vs WHITE. 6 

Dowd. Well, now, that's what 1 call irapudence. Change a hundred 
dollar bill, but those news boys cau't be beat for cheek; 

Enter Cesar r. news-boy 's dress, papers under arm. stutnp of cigar in his mouth* 
Cesar, Good mornin' sah, is you do gemman what want's de latest news ? 

{puffs cigar very hard 
Dowd. See here, you infernal little negro, {snuffing) what do you mean 
by smoking that cigar in my parlor ? {coughs 

Cesar. I was jest gibin' yer de scent, boss, so yer could go down whar I 
got dis at, and git yerself one. Dis here's agiaiwine Habana, git 'em fer 
two biis a piece at Peter Burke's. 
Dowd. Do you mean to tell me, that is a Havana cigar ? 
Cesar. Yas sah, I does, real giniwine habana segar. 
Dowd. But you did not give two bits for it, did you ? 
Cesar. Me? {laughs) No sah, I didn't give nuffin fer it, I didn't. 
Dowd. So you did not give anything for it? 

Cesar. No sah, not de fust red cent. Does yer believe I'm a fool ter 
spend all my capital fer a cigar? No, boss, guess I'se got more sense dan 
dat. 
Dowd. Then how do you know it is a Havana c'gar, and cost two bits? 
Cfe.sar. {grins) Kase I seed Mister Burke when he got it out ob^de box ; 
an' I knows he don't make nuffin but good cigars. 
Doiod. But how did you come to get it? 

Cesar, Yaw, hah, ha 1 Dar's where de laff comes in. You jest orter seed 
me, boss I 
Dowd. I suppose you come some of your sharp tricks on the gentleman, 
Cesar. No sah 1 he's too sharp hisself. 
Dowd. Well, how did you get it ? 

Ceiar. I jest watched him, an' de minit he frowed it away, I flung my 
hat oberde stump, an' hollerd "Grasshopper." 
Dowd. Why, what made you say "grasshopper?" 

Cesar. Dat's only a word us boy's is got. But, look here, boss, is dat all 
you called me up here fer ? Yer didn't call me up here to gib me a game ob 
talk, did yer ? Ain't you gwine ter buy a paper ? 
Dowd. Yes, certainly, here's your nickle! Give me the paper. 
Cesar. - No, yer don't, boss ! 
Dowd. Why don't you give me the paper? 

Cesar. Kase papers is riz. {aside) Dev's comed up three par ob stars 
an' is higher dan dey was before, {aloud) -IDey's wufi" two bits now, 
Dowd. For the whole lot ? 
Cesar. No sah, fer one paper. 
Dowd. How do you make that? 

Cesar. Why, you see inde fust place, when dey was down stairs dey was 
wuff five cents — 
Dowd. Well ? 

Cesar. Den whan I comed up here, in de second place, dey's wuff ten 
cents. 
Dowd. But — 

Cesar. Den ter bring 'em down stairs again will make 'em be wuff fifteen 
cents. 

Doiod. Go on 

Cesar. Lastly, an' in de 'third place, standin' here an' listenin' to yer 
chin music makes de oder ten cents; so yer see, boss, by all de rules ob de 
spellin' book dey am wuff at de present time, two bits, an' as all de papers 
am sold out at de office — an' de forms knocked into Washington pie, an' de 
bo85 raring round, sayin' he'll kill de fust man what axes him what's de 
matter wid his paper, dey am wuff de present price at dis time, 
Dowd. {aside) This seems to be a very smart boy. {aloud) I say Sam — 
Cesar. My name aint Sam. 
Dowd. Then, what might your name be ? 

Cesar. It might be Abe, Ike, Julius, Pete, Tom or any ob dem common 
names^ but it aint I 
Dowd. (asicJc) Such impudence I (a/owc?) What is your name? 



g ' BLACK vs WHITE. 

Cesar, My name is Cesar Brutus Cicero, but de people what knows me 

^^^^W^^Tow^Cesar, how would you like to become my servant ; live in 
this hou'se : have good clothes, good wages, and plenty to eat ? 

CcJar I'd like it fust rate. How much yer gwme to gib me by de day? 

Dowd. I purpose to pay you by the month. 

aZt An' how much den, is you gwine to gib me by de month ? 

Dowd. I think twenty- five dollars would be about right. 

Cesar. Dat's too much, boss, too much. 

Dowd. Too much ! wbat wages do you want? 

rv«rtr 'Bout five dollars a month. , , , i. 

Dowd. I'll have to give you more than that. But what makes you want 

'^ctar'^Vhyr/er see boss, de President might make yer Post-master ob 
de city an' yeVmight gobble up two or three millyun dollars, bout de sec- 
ond to deVst day ob de month, and den run away on de last day ob de 
month, anMf yoS was only gibbin me five dollars I wouldn't lose so much, 

""A'^r."^ You can consider yourself engaged. Go down to the cook and 
tell her to give vou something to eat, then come here in half an hour, and 
I will tell vou what your duties are. . , • . t, v l^.^' 

re flr AH right boss. Hi golly, dis nigger feels jest like a bij hog m a 
mud puddle Like a Hit-me-with-a-to-mat-a's, what 1 seed in de circus. 
?se /ot a place to stav, gwine ter git good clothes good chuck. Go 'long 
Liza Jai^e! (tonc.sV«rf Hbitum) Clar de road de buUgines comin . 
wont I have fun ! I feel so good {shakes himself and throws away papers) 

.. 1 1 : i'.« ., ..nHvarl millvnnair. I 13. \.Sl} 



rot a Place to stav, i^vvinc LCI gii- ^^'v^v- —7 o- . - 

Liza^Jai^e! (toncsVarf Hbitum) Clar de road de buUgines comin 
wont I have fun ! I feel so good (shakes himself and throws away P^P^^^^} J 
dun quit de business, I'se a retired millyunair, I is. i^sings 

Mv gal, my gal, I'm gwme fer to see, 

Kase I'se got nufiin better fer to to duj 
I'm gwine to see my Chloe so dear, 
Fer ter drive away de blues. , 

I ain't got no blues now, but den Sunday night I'm gwme ter see her, any- 
how ttarls of L. pia>/i»g jewsharp, at entrance turns to audience and sings) 
Shoo fly don't bodder I, .kc ^^^" ^* 



Enter Julip R. 

Juliv. I wonder if that Yankee has delivered n.y note I hope he has, it 
will ifo^v Miss Mav Sprite that I am not to be tr.fled with- '1 go and see 
Tome other girl-ril-ril-ril fgo to the-the-I wish I hadn t sent that 
note-i I ccmld onlv see that Y&kee, I'd make him give it to me-I II go 
and hunt him up. Oh dear, I never was so near crazy m my life-and all 
for a girl, confound the girls-I wish all the women were on one side and 
thenfenonthe other w^th a river one hundred miles wide between us- 
but that wouldn't make any difterence-I'd be fool enough to J^mp m and 
try to swim across-and I'll bet fifteen cents I'd meet Miss Sprite ^aU J^^y. 

Enter 2frs. Smith and May, l. 

3frs Smith. My dear May, what is the matter with you and Mr Julip? 
he has not been tJ see you for over a week. We have made at least a doz- 
on visits here at Mrs. Dowd's, and on each occasion Mr. Juhp has not been 
seen. Now I want you to toll me what's the matter. 

May. {watches door) There is'nt anything the matter with Jam-I mean 

^ifri^is.^' But there is something the matter— you haven't been yourself at 
all for the last two or thee days. Every thing you do, is done wrong, yes- 
terday at breakfast you put salt in your coffee, and then drank my tea, and 
remaned that coffei was not like it used to be. And yet you tell me there 
isn't anything the matter, pshaw I 

May. Aunty. I wish you wouldn't bother me so, Mr. Julip will not com© 
to see me any more. 

Mrs S. How do you know that? ,. . •. • i. t. u 

May. Because I've just received a note from him, m which he says he 
will never speak to me again, and if he meets me in the streets he will treat 
me as a str-an-ger, and l-I- {^^nks into chair and sobs 



BLACK vs WHITE. 7 

Mp S. Yon are the biggest Why don't you send for him? 

Tu^' ^^^^^^^ "® wouldn't come — I know he wouldn't. 

Mrs S. Let me see, I think I can contrive to bring them together. 
Enter Dowd c. 

Mrs S. They are the-iDowd coughs) Why, good morning Mr. Dowd. 
you see that we took advantage of your kind invitation and have called 
again. 

poiod. {aside) Yes, I see, about forty times this week, I wonder if she's 
after me. (aloud) My dear madam, yourself, and charming neice are al- 
ways welcome (aside) I wonder where the devil that servant of mine is. 
{aloud) V\ hat, Miss May in tears ? 

May No sir, as I was coming up the stairs the wind blew the dust in my 
eyes, (pulls out handkerchief and drops note which Julip has sent her, Mrs. 
iiharp secures it unobserved.) 

Mrs S. (aside) This note will tell me what I wish to know. 
■ May (puts handkerchief in pocket—misses note, is astonished— aside) I 
nave lost the note— if anyone should find it— 

r, , ^ ^ , {searches pocket etc. Dowd sees the action 

-Dowd. Cesar; Cesar, you black rascal, come here I (enter Cesar in second 
dress with a large sioeet potato in hand, which he is eating) Where have vou 
been all this time? •' 

Cesar, (talking loith his mouth full) Bin down to de cook, like vou tola 
me, a stufhn' my face. . "^ 

Dowd. You haven't been eating all this time ? 

MrsS. (aside) I didn't know Mr. Dowd kept black servants, and al- 
lowed them to eat in his parlor. 

Cesar I jist tell ye boss, dis chile am got an awful appetite, (sees ladies 
■^hastily sioallotvs lohat is in his mouth, puts the rest of potato in pocket— aside) 
±ii, go ly, didn t know the old rooster had female company, (aloud) Any- 
thing 1 km do boss ? (sees May- aside) Haw, haw! bin habin' a fuss, I 
know how ter fix dat. Good mornin' ladies, ax pardon, fer not speakin' 
sooner, but ye see I was so busy thin kin' 'bout de last time dat I had a— I 
mean— dat I— I mean when I was in congress, dat I didn't see yer 

May. Oh my poor eyes I (handkerchief to eyes 

Cesar. What s de matter wid yer eyes, Miss? 

May. I got them filled with dust. 

Cesar. What kind ob dust? 

Dowd. You infernal scoundrel, bring a basin of water. 

Cesar. What fun ! 

MrsS. So that the young lady can bathe her eyes. 

Cesar. Who axed you 'bout it ? I was talkin' to de boss. 

Dowd. Go instantly, and bring the water, 
^ Cesar. I fly j (going slowly— aside) De young gal wants de water to wash 
ae dust out ob her eyes, so de ole gal kin frow it in de boss's eyes. 

(Dowd starts toward him — he runs of B. 
Enter Smith c. 

Srnith. (aside) Thar she is, thar she is ! (sees Dowd) Thar's the ole man, 
1 11 tell a whopper when he axes me what I want. Didn't expect ter see 
Him. (looks at Mrs. Sharp, who is ogling Mr. Dowd) Hain't the ole gal 
sweet on the ole man? must put a etop ter that or all my expectations 
are knocked into a cocked hat. (Cesar enters with a basin of water, sets it 
down at back of stage— approaches May.) 

Cesar. Here am de water. Miss. 

May. Tbank you. (he leads her to the water, she bathes eyes, Cesar comes 
aown stage.) 

Dowd. Cesar do you intend to let that basin of water stand there? 

Cesar. Yas sah, dat's jest aa gooder place fur it as any I knx)W8 uv. 

Dowd. Throw it out. 

Cesar All right, boss, (takes basin to l. 3 e. and sings out) Look out be- 
low, i^throws basin— voice outside says) "What the devil do y»u mean by 
throwing that water and basin on us ?" ( Cesar laughs— all run to see what the 
matter is— Dowd throws book at Cesar, who dodges and it kits Smith. 



8 BLACK vs WHITE. 

Smith. Gosh all Jerusalem ! my breakfast is all knocked ter pieces. {Ce- 
sar laughs imitating Smith who is doubled up — they Jight, Smith hits Cesar f 
Dowd separates them) 

Cesar. What de debil you hit me fur? yer-good-fur-nothin* low down 
white trash, I didn't du nufRn ter yer. 

Smith. Yeou black skunk, I'll turn ye inside eout, cram yer down yer 
own throat, till thar won't be nothin' left of yer but yer shirt collar stickin' 
out'er yer ej'^es. D'ye hear that? 

Cesar. Great land ob Sodom I dat man's dangerous, take him away, boss. 

May. Gentlemen, for my sake, do not fight. 

Mrs S. Come May, it is time for us to return, {to Smith) And for you 
sir, if I ever see you speaking to my neice I'll have you horsewhipped. 

Dowd. You infernal rascal, get out of my house or I'll have you arres- 
ted. 

May. Nay, Mr. Dowd, do not be hard on the poor fellow. 

Smith, (aside) How did she know I was poor? (aloud) Look a here, 
squire, I didn't mean no disrespect ter ye nor ter the ladies, but this black — 

Cesar. Hole on dar, you're 'bout ter bite off niare'n yer kin chaw. 

Smith. If ever I ketch yer outside this house an' I git yer down, an* git 
one of them ar' ears of your'n atween my teeth, yer won't think I've bit off 
mere'n I ken chaw. (pulls out plug of tobacco, takes an immense chew 

Cesar. De Lord I if dat fellow eber does kotch hole ob my year, dar won't 
be much left arter he gits through a chawin'. 

Mrs S, Mr. Dowd, we wish you a very good morning. I am sorry our 
visit was interrupted. 

May. Good morning, Mr. Dowd. 

Dowd. Good morning, ladies. 

Mrs 8. Good morning, Mr. Dowd. (looks smiling at him--exit C. 

Dowd. I do really believe that woman is in love with me. 

Sfniih. Squire, you'd better watch that ar' widder. 

Dowd. What do you mean? 

Cesar. It means dis, boss, he wantR de young gal himself, an* if yer 
waB ter marry de ole gal, he wouldn't stan' no chance, undstand ? 

Smith, (in a rage) You — you — vou — tar — nal descendent uv satan I I'll 
_I'll_I'll 

Dowd. (catches hold of him) Here, you get out of my house. 

Cesar. Dat's right, boss, bounce him, make him waltz off on his year. 
Smith gets loose and runs after Cesar, who runs around stage, Smith after him. 

Doiod after Smith, Cesar squats suddenly — Smith falls over him, Dowd ever 

them, gets up and sees Smith and Cesar locked in each other's arms, tries 

to part them, he cries, Help — fire — murder — police I Julip rushes in, sees 

state of things, gets club strikes Smith, who finding himself attacked on all 

sides lets go of Cesar and runs ofc. Cesar gets up and shakes himself, 

Cesar. Is I all here, boss ? 

Julip. I guess you are. Don't you think so uncle? 

Dowd. Yes, I think he is all right. How do you feel Cesar 7 

Cesar. Me, me I I feel jest as if I'd been ridin' a circular saw. Dat 
man's de worst rooster I eber did tackle. 

Dowd. Never mind, Cesar. 

Cesar. I don't mind it boss, but I ain't gwine ter forget it. 

Dowd. James, I have hired this boy to wait upon me. 

Julip. All right, uncle, I hope he will prove satisfactory. 

Cesar. I neber did hab nuffin ter do wid no eass factory, so how's I 
gwine ter prove enything 'bout de factory. 

Julip. I did not mean that — I mean that you will suit my uncle. 

Cesar. Oh, I'se bound ter suit. (Julip sits at table — reads paper) But 
what is I got to do, boss. 

Dowd. Well, Cesar, the first thing is to make a fire every morning ; then 
sweep the rooms out; bring a bucket of water to my room ; black my shoes; 
see if the morning paper has come ; dust all the furni'^ure and then — 

Cesar. How 'bout de breakfus' boss, don't spect I kin do all dem lings 
on a empty stomach, does yer ? 

Dowd. Why, it won't take you half an hour. 



BLACK vs WHITE. g 

Cesar. Won't take me half an hour ter do all dat, boas ? yep don't know 
me. What time yer spects I'se gwine'to git up in de mornin' ? 

Dowd. About five o'clock. 
t Cesar. An' what time yer gwine to git up ? 
Dowd. About nine o'clock. 

Cesar. Den ver say dat it won't take me more'n half an hour ter do all 
dem tings— I gtts up at five o'clock, you gits up at nine, I bin waitin' all dat 
time fer my breakfas', you ain't bin waitin'. Can't see it, boss, de fifteenth 
amendment done passed congress. 
Dowd. Why, you can try, can't you Cesar? 

Cesar. Yas sah, I'll try (aside) ter see how long it'll take ter dust one 
cheer and then dust out ob de back door, {aloud) But look a here boss, it's 
de breakfas' part ob dis contract I'm arter. {knock outside r. 2 a. 

Dowd. Go and see who it is, Cesar. 

Cesar. All right, boss, {aside) It'll take de rest ob de week ter git fur- 
der instructions, {goes to door) Who's dar ? {returns 

Dowd. Anybody out there, Cesar ? 
Cesar. Yas sah, dey's a man standin' at the door. 
Dowd. Why didn't you tell him to come in ? 

Cesar. Yep tole me fer to go an' see who it was, an* I went. Neber tole 
me to ax 'em to come in. 

Dowd. Bear this in mind — whenever I tell you to see who is at the door, 
I mean you to ask them in. {knock repeated) Go now. {exit Cesar b. 

JuliV' He seems to be a smart darkey, uncle? 

Dowd. Yes but rather impudent, {enter Cesar) Well, where's the man? 
Cesar. I done like yer tole me, axed him in— den shet de door an' left 
him standin, in de hall. 

Dowd. Bring him up here, {exit Cesar r.) Did you ever see such im- 
pudence? 

Julip. He does not understand— he will learn after a while, {enter Cesar 
R. showing in Smith disguised as a quaker) 
Dowd. Good evening, friend. 

Smith. Verily thou mayst call me friend, {to JuUp) and thou young 
man, art thou well in body and in mind ? 

Julip. Oh, yes, {sighs) as well as might be expected — take a seat. 
Smith. Many thanks, I've traveled far and am weary, {seats himself— 
Cesar in the meantime has gone through his pockets, finds small bottle — uncorks 
and smells of it, makes face) 
Cesar. Spects yer is. 

Julip. It is very near the the hour we dine, and you must be famished? 
Smith. Thou hast spoken truly. 

Cesar, {aside) Must be dis here's mighty good liquor, {drains the bottle, 
and returns it to Smith's pocket.) 

Smith. Young man, I have called to tell you some very important news, 
and would see thee alone, {looks at Dowd who is dozing) 1 jess tell ye — 

{recollects himself 
Cesar, {starts when he hears Smith speak-^aside) I believe I know dat 
nianl {comes opposite side of stage 

Smith. My friend, there is a female of whom I would speak to. thee. 
Julip. A female I and d« you know her name? 
Smith. Yea, friend I do. 

Cesar, {during the foregoing he sticks a large pin in the toe of his shoe) 1 

kinder tinks dat dar feller am dat yankee, an' I'm gwine ter find out, 

{makes motion of sticking'Jiim, gets behind Smith's chair 

Julip. Will you be so kind as to favor me with the name of the lady. 

Smith. Certainly young man, the name of the female is {Cesar puts foot 

under chair and sticks him — he jumps up) Wild cats and blazes 1 ( Cesar laughs 

Julip. What did you say her name was? 

( Cesar ties Smith's coat to chair 
Dowd. {gets up— yawns) Nephew, I believe I shall retire, the gentleman 
does not seem to have any business with me. Excuse me. 

Smith. Sartin I (stops) Thou hast spoken truly, friend, it is your neph- 
ew with whom I wish to speak. {exit Dowd, c. 



10 BBACK V8 W^ITE. 

Cesaf kasJUled hiafoekets wiiK^ingsin SmUVs'pbikets. ■Sniith disioVers hxa. 

loss. 

Smith, {aside) Geo-whil-i-kinl That infernal nigger's been doin' this. 
I'll git eyen with him. 

Julip. What is the matter with you, friend? Just now you sprang up in 
your chair like a crazy man, and now you are talking to yoUrself. {sees bot- 
tle in Smith's hand) How did you come by that ? 

Smith. That infer I mean that American citizen of African de- 
scent placed it in my pocket. 

Cesar. 'Taint so boss. If I had done it you would saw me. 

Julip. It 18 plain he did n6t put them there himself. 

Cesar. Boss, I believe he's one ob dem conjurin' chaps — dey can do mofti 
anything. 

Smith jumps up in a rage, and starts toward Cesar, the chair follows him 
and trips him up. Cesar yells. 

Smith, {getting up) I shan't stand this treatment any lbng«rr— I'll mash 
that nigger's head. 

Cesar, {pull an immense cheese knife) I knows ye now Mister Yankee- 
touch me if ye dar. Beenplayin' 'possum has ye? Den come on and I'll 
"carve dat 'possum." {flourishes knife, Smith retreats, Cesar follows. 

Julip. I'll go and get the whole police force. {exit, c. 

Smith. Now look a here Cesar, put that tooth-pick up, you might hurt 
yerself with it. 

Cesar. Call dis here a toof-pick ? 

Smith. Yaas, that's what we call 'em— "Arkansa.w Toothpicks." 

Cesar. Yank, I want ask ye one question. 

Smith. Drive ahead. 

Cesar. What made ye come intode house in dat rig ? 

Smith. I know'd the folks here never would hev let me in, if kh«y'd 
know'd who 1 was. 

Dowd. {without, L.) Cesar I Cesar I 

Cesar. Yes, sah, 

Dowd. Come here I 

Cesar, I'mcomin'. {exit, l. 

Smith. I heerd this old chap wanted some one to take keer of his hossds. 
I am the chap fer that posish — I know all about bosses. Believe I'll ask the 
old fellow — he might hire me, then I'd alius be around the house and could 
git even with that nigger. 

Enter Dowd and Julip, c. 

Julip. I tell you uncle, It was that yankee. 

Dowd. I do not think he means any harm, {sees Smith) Here he is noW. 

Smith. Yaas, I'm here, squire, and I've got a favor to ask ye. 

Dowd. If I can do anything for you that is reasonable, I will. 

Smith. I heerd as heow you wanted tu hire a man tu take care of yotir 
bosses. I knows all about bosses and would like tu git the place. 

Dowd. Yes, I want a man, and I'll take you a month on trial. If you 
suit me I'll give you twenty-five dollars a month, board and lodging. Will 
this suit 7 

Smith, Tip-top. {aside) Now, Mr. Cesar, lookout. 

Dowd. What is your name ? 

Smith. Ezekiel Smitn. 

Dowd. Go and find Cesar, and he will show you the stables. 

Smith. All right, squire. {exity t., whistling. 

Dowd. Now, my dear nephew, that we are alone, I wish to know whut is 
the matter with you ? 

Julip. (sighing) There isn't anything the matter. 

Dowd. I know better. You sigh, appear nervous — in fact are not tho 
same boy you were a week ago. 

Julip. As you have noticed me so closely, I'll tell you. A 



BLACK vs WHITE. U 

Enter, Cesar l., greatly excited^ 

Dowd. What's the matter ? 

Cesar. Hab you hired dat yankee ? 

Dowd, Yes. What of it? 

Cesar. Pay him and let him go. 

Dowd. What for, Cesar ? 

Cesar. He come to me and he tole me, dat you tole him to tell me to 
show him he stables. 

Dowd. That is correct. 

Cesar. I tole him dat you didn't say no such thing. Den he remarked 
dat I was a liar. 

Julip. Called you a liar ? 

Cesar. Yes, sah, and somethin' wuss. 

Dowd. He did ? 

Cesar. Yes, sah. He pulled a horspital on me, 

Dowd. {astonished) Pulled a hospital on you ? 

Julip. He means a horse pistol, uncle. 

Cesar. Boss, I want ye to discharge dat man. 

Dowd. No, Cesar, I have promised to give him a month's trial. 
' Cesar. Den I 'spects I'll hab to stand it, but I warn ye, dat feller's gwine 
to make trouble in dis house. {knock, h. 

Dowd. Go and see who that is, Cesar, {exit, Cesar u\ I did not expect 
visitors, did you, James? 

Julip. {nervously) No. {a^de) Who can it be ? 

Enter Cesar, l., a card in kismouth, 

Cesar, {card in his mouth) Dar's a couple ob ladies down stairs, and one 
00 'em sends up dis here. 

Dowd. That is not the way to present a card. 

Cesar, I don't want to sile it. 

Dowd. (reads) ''Mrs. Sharpe," '«May Sprite." {Julip starts to go, Dowd 
calls him back) Where are you going, James? 

J"u/i^ I have a— a— a— yea— tiiat is—l^distracted) I have to see a man 

^sar. {aside) I knows what's de matter wid de young boss. 
Dowd. You have to see a man, James ? 

Oesar Yas sah, he owes a man a bill, an' he wants to pay him afore the 
she— riflf grabs him. 

Julip. {aside to Cesar) I don't owe any-— 

^sar-. {ditto) Don't yer see I'm tryin' ter git yer outen de scrape ? 
JJowd, Cesar I ( Cesar jumps) Go and tell the ladies to come up. 
Julip tries to exit — Dowd calls him back, as He seats himself Cesar shows 
the ladies in c. 

ip. oZlZrT^^:^:- (retire, up, fa,, 

Mrs's. I ^°^^ ^^y* ^'- ^>owd. 

^lip. {not looking up) Good day, ladies. 

L^uf' f^Z^^^%'^^^T r. (May does not answer 

Julip. {aside) It is just as I thought. 

■Mrs 8. {aside) I couldn't have had a better opportunity. 

Cesar, {aside) Dat ole gal knows her business, sWs a gwin'e ter hook- 
de ole man, an' make de young gal cotch de young man. 

MrsS. /Tr »6Wd yoU're looking splendid! {looks at Mm admiringly^ 

Cesar, {aside) Jess what I thought. 
J^owd, Well— a-the fact is I am feeling Verjr well «nd-(aiirfe) I do, 
believe the woman is in love with me. 



12 BLACK vs WHITE. 

Cesar, (laughs — aside) Jess look^at 'em, each one thinks they've got de 
other, but jess look at the young folks, they've got it bad. 

May seats herself opposite Julip—they look at each other at the same timef 
then turn away very much embarrassed, business ad libitum. 

Mrs S. Mr, Dowd you promised to show me those pictures which you 
purchased in Rome. 

Dowd. So I did. (aside) Confound it, when I said Rome, I meant Rome, 
Georgia, paid one dollar and fifty cents a piece for them at auction, 

Mrs S. I do so admire fiue paintings they are so beautiful — that is — 
some of them, (she turns slightly towards May and Julip — they raise their 
eyes at that instant, business as be/ore — Mrs. Sharpe smiles, Cesar laughs.) 
1 have a distant relative in Columbus who has a large collection of pictures. 

Cesar, (aside) He must keep a photograph gallery. 

Dowd. My dear Mrs. Sharpe, I would be delighted to show you my pic- 
tures but — 

Mrs S. That is always the way. (strikes him playfully with her fan) 
Come come, Mr. Dowd, I will have no "buts," (in a sero-comic voice) I am 
mistress of all I survey. 

Cesar, (aside) Hanged if you is. (shakes his head 

Dowd. When the ladies command, it only remains for us to obey. 

(offers his arm 

Mrs S. (taking his arm) Thank you, May we will leave you for a short 
time, and do not run away with .James. 

May. I do not think there is any danger of that Aunty. 

(looks at Julip who drops his eyes 

Mrs S. Pray excuse us Mr. Julip. 

Julip. Certainly, but may I not go too ? 

Mrs S. For shame, Mr. Julip. 

Julip. I mean — yes — I mean— 

Dowd. Come Mrs. Sharpe, let's be going, never mind the young people. 

May. Don't be gone long, Aunty. (Cesar makes a grand bow 

Mrs S. No, I'll not be long, (aside) I'll make it long enough to give you 
*.wo fool a quiet '^hat. (exit Mrs. Sharp and Dowd, c. 

May and Julip appear very nervous, Julip sighs, puts his hands in his 
pocket, tries to whistle. May takes out her handkerchief and counts the 
stitches in the hem. Cesar watches them, points first to one then the other. 
Julip looks at May and draws a long breath. May ditto — Julip sighs loud- 
ly, Cesar runs to him. 

Cesar. What's de matter Marsa Julip, ain't sick is yer? 

Julip. No. 

Cesar, Thought ye had de cramps. (May sighs, he ru7is to her) What's 
de mutter, youug miss, is you sick ? 

May. No. 

Cesar, (aside) Now dem folks is sick — dey's love-sick, been takin in too 
much moonshine after supper. 

Julip. Cesar, bring me a glass of water. (Cesar starts 

May. Cesar ! (rUns to her) Go and tell my aunt, I wish to go home. 

(he starts 

Julip. Cesar! (he comes back , Julip takes him one side) Be just as long 
as you can about it, understand ? 

Cesar. Oh, yas, sah, I understand, (aside) And I knows dey both wants 
me out ob de way. (laughs, starts to go, turns suddenly, sees May and Julip 
looking at each other) Dem two is de wuss struck dat I eber did see. (exit l. 

Julip sees Cesar. has gone then turns to May who is looking after CksaTf Julip 
is nervous — knocks book off the table. May jumps. 

May. Why Jam — Mr. Julip how you frightened me. 

Julip. I an very sorry my dear — Miss May. 

May. I declare you frightened me so I am all of a tremble. 



BLACK vs WHITE. 13 

Jiilip. I am very sorry. 

May. I am bo nervous that the least thing frightens me. 

Julip. {nervouslj/) ^l am very sorry. 

May. Aunty did not tell me that she intended to visit your tincle. 

Julip. I'm — I'm — I'm very sorry — 

May looks at him in astonishment— Julip jumps up — seizes his hat and 
starts to go. 

May. James— {looks down 

Julip. Did you say any thing, Miss May ? 

May. Where are you going? 

Julvp. Oh, nowhere in particular, {he looks in his hat. May at the carpet 

May. You are so mean — 

Julip. I am— that is — I mean — (aside) I don't know what I do mean. 

(he is in the meantime moving towards May, business ad lib. 
May. You — you are so mean. 
Julip. I'm very sorry. 

May (aside) There he goes again. I wish he would say something else. 
Julip. My dea — (checks himself) If I am, who is the cause of it? 
May. I am sure I do not know Mr, Julip. 
Julip. (ande) I wish I knew what to say. 

May. You're the — the — I don't know what to— to call you. {about to cry 
Julip. Dear me, how warm it is, I think I will open the window. 

(wipes face with handkerchief 
May. Please don't Jam — Mr. Tulip, I might catch cold — you might too, 
and you might get the consumption, then — then — 
Julip. (excitedly) What theu my dear — Miss May? 
May. (sobs) Then — then — then you might d'e. 

May cries heartily — Julip puts his arm around her waist, triei to take her 
hands from her face. 

Julip. Don't cry my darling, do you love me ? 

May. You know I do, James. 

Juiip. (joyfully) Then don't cry May, and I'll— 

Enter Cesar, c. 

Cesar. Hab some dinner, sah ? ^ {both start 

Julip. You black imp, why did you not knock before coming in ? 

Cesar. De door was wide open, an' how did 1 know you was huggin' Misa 
May. Haw, haw, haw ! 

Julip. Hush, or I'll break every bone iu your body. I was'nt hugging 
yon, was 1 Miss May? 

May. No. 

Cesar, (picks a hair of of Julip' s coat) You wasn't — dem is de kind of 
fedders what always tells. 

Julip. Hold your tongue you impudent scoundrel. Come May let's go 
to dinner. 

May. Didn't Aunty say we should wait for her? 

Cesar. Bless yer Miss' May, de ole folks is in de dining room, deys de 
ones dat sent me for you. 

May. Well then we had better go. 

Julip. Here Cesar, don't say anything about — you know. {giva money 

Cesar;. All right, boss, (exit May and Juiip c— Cesar laughs) Dat was 
better dan a side show, (sits and mimics Julip) Dat's the way he done it, 
{laughs) Don't say nuffin 'bout it. Hi golly, if I don't, I'll j^bust. Did'nt 
de gal turn red when she seed me. Oh, no, he wasn't huggin' Miss May, 
oh, no. dem's innercent young folks, dey is. (Smith looks in door K. 2 b., 
sees Cesar, loithdraws) De boss give me five dollars not to say nuffiu. (takes 
out money) Wonder if it it's counterfeit, (laugh.s) Can't help but think of 
dem two innercent angels — ^^Dear James, I'm yours," says she— "my dar- 
ling, my belubbed, I'm yours," says he. Whoop, dat's too much for dis 



14 BLACK vs WHITE. 

nigger ; must go and get my gal five centa worth of dem gura drops, (rises) 
Oh, dem ianercent young ducks, dey jest beat dis nigsrer all holler. 

{exit siWging *'My gal, my gal." 

JSnter Smith without disguise, seems very tired, throws himself in chair and 
wipes his face with sleeve. 

Smith. Well I swow, if that warn't the darndest job I ever tackled, I'm 
80 tired, I dunno what to do, {yaions) I'm getting sleepy, if I warn't 
afeard the old folks would ketch me here, I'd take a nap. {ynwiis) I'll go 
to sleep anyhow — I don't keer. {yaions and stretches) I'm gettin' wu33 and 
wuss, believe I'll take a drink, {take bottle out of pocket, goes to drink, finds 
nothing in it, is astonished) That air's funny, I filled that about two hours 
ago arid I know I didn't drink it. Wonder if it leaked out. {examines bottle 

Cesar, {aside) Ob course it leaked out — but it went down dis nigger's 
throat. 

Smith. I don't see any crack. {examining bottle 

Cesar, {aside) If you look whar de stopper goes in, you'll be mighty 
apt to see whar de leak am. 

Smith. Wall I gives it up — I'm gettin' awful sleepy, 'taint goin' to do 
anybody any harm if I take a little nap. I wonder whar that nigger is? 
i^sl'eepier-) Wonder what time it is? Must be near dinner time, {yawns 
and drops head on table) I don't keer if it is dinner time, {yawns) I'm 
a goin' to sleep — any — how — don't — care — a — red — c — e — n 1 — {sleeps 

Cesar, {tiptoes forward, sees he is asleep) Now ole boy, I've got ye. 
(ties Smith's legs to a chair, gets a paper which he tears in strips and places be.- 
tiveen his fingers, takes match from pocket and lights paper, then retires up 
stage) Now, look out. 

Smith moves xmeasily — the fire burns him, he jumps up excitedly, the chair 
trips him — he rolls and yells, Cesar runs out c. 

Smith. Here— help— fire— murder— perlice— Squire— Cesar— come here. 
Great Jerusalem, I'm burnt to a crisp. 

Enter May, Mrs. Sharpe, Julip and Dowd, 0. 

JDoiod. What in the world is the matter with you ? 
Enter Cesar with pail, c. 

Cesar. Whar am de fire, show me He fire ! 

Smith. I'm on fire, Squire, bin burnt — murdered and then sot on fire ter 
shield the crime. 

Cesar. Den I'll put ye out. 

{throws pail at him — Smith gets up looking very foolish 

Doiod. You are not hurt at all, I've a good mind to discharge you. 

Cesar, {aside) Nebber mind Mister Smith, I'll fix ye next time. 

Smith. Much obleged to ye Squire, but I must a drearopt I was on fire, 
but hang me if something didu't burn my fingers, and when I woke up I 
seed de blaze. 

Dowd. Say no more about it but go and attend to your work. 

Smith. All right, Squire, {starts off — sees Cesar laughing, catches him by 
the ear) Here's the chap that's done it, Squire. 

Cesar, Dat's my ear you'se got hold ob. 

Smith. I knows it. 

Cesar. Better let loose. 

Smith. I won't do it. I've got you now. 

Cesar. Yer has, has yer ? 

Cesar reaches up his back, Smith tries to prevent him, he gets his knift ani 
makes a pass at Smith who lets go and jumps back, Cesar starts after him. 
Julip interferes, Cesar shakes knife savagely , Mrs. Sharpe faints in Dowi's 
arms. May wrings her hands, Julip holds Cesar^ 

Dowd. How do jou feel, Mrs. Sharpe ? 



BLACK vs WHITE. 15 

Mrs S. {comes too with a jump) What is the matter? (looks around, sees 
rifuJip holdinq Cesar) I remember — be did not kill the maii# did he? 

DoKod. No, but 1 thiuk he would have done so. 

Cesar. Yer mighty correct, boss. 

Smith. See here Cesar, let's be friends. 

Cesar. Don't know 'bout dat. 

Omnes. Yea, be friends, Cesar. 

Cesar, (aside) Dese yaakees arn so tricky, ye don't know when they's 
in arnest. 

Mrs S. Yes, be friends, Cesar. 

Cesar. Yer all want me to be friendly, but yer don't know what he'done 
to me the oder day. 

Smith. I was only joking, Cesar, ye don't think I'd hurt ye in arnest, do 
ye? 

Caesar. Think ! no, I knows it. 

Cesar feels of his ear, then glares at Smith, his hand goes to his back — Smith 
edges (twnij — Cesar starts toward him, May steps between them.. 

May. Kow, Cesar, you must be friends. 

Cesar. All right, Miss May — Come, Yank, I ain't got nothin' ag'in yerl 

Smith, (aside) These here folks think thar ain't nobody like that nigger, 
hut I reckon I'm some pumpkins myself. 

Dowd. Come, Smith ! 

Smith. You had better pay that nigger, and let him go. 

May. (takes Smith by the arm) Mr. Smith, you must be good. 

Smith looks at May — at Cesar — at all the characters — then holds out his 
hand to Ces-ar — they ahake. 

Cesar. De color line am broke down, de bloody shirt am buried, but 
(aside) I '11 hab to watch dis feller. 

Julip. Uncle, you will please excuse us, as Miss May, wishes to see our 
flower garden. 

Mrs S. May, bring me a rose, to put in my hair. 

May. I will ! (exit May, and Julip, C. 

Dowd, Did you curry the horses. Smith? 

Smith. Criminy ! it took so long to git the rest of the work done, I clear 
forgot about the horses. But I ain't had no dinner yet 1 

Cesar, (with hand on his stomach — aside) I kinder thought it mighty 
funny my clothes didn't fit me. 

Dowd. Get your dinner. Smith, then curry the horses, and you may go 
where you please. (exit Smith, c. 

Mrs S. You are very good to your servants, Mr. Dowd. 

Dowd. Yes> I never ask them to do much. 

Cesar, (aside) Oh, no, ydr don't neber ax 'em to do much ! But I wish 
de boss would tell me to go an' get my dinner, I'm gettin' awful hungry. 

Dowd. Cesar ! 

Cesar. Yes, sah. 

Dowd. You know that old fellow I was talking to yesterday 7 

Cesar. Yes, sah. 

Dowd. Go hunt him up, and tell him I want to see him. 

Cesar. All right, boss, but how about my dinner? 

Dowd. Get your dinner first. (exit Cesar, c, singing 

Mrs S. How very kind you are, Mr. Dowd. I always have heard that 
you were a kind man, and kind men make good — good — make good — 

(looks at Dowd — taps the floor with her foot. 

Dowd. Make what?, 

Mrs S. Make good husbands. 

Dowd. (aside) I'm in for it now I (aloud) Why do you say that? 

Mrs S. Because I've been married, and I know. 

Dowd. Well, I've never been married, therefore, I do not know. 

Mrs S. (aside) I '11 never get him to talk, I'll have to try some other 
plan. 



16 BLACK vs WHITE. 

Dowd. {aside) I never did think I'd be afraid of a woman — {pulls his 
moustache nervously) but I'm afraid of this one. 

Mrs S. {screams) Save me, Charlea, save me I {runs toward Dowd — he 
•runs, stops, turns and catches Mrs S. as she faints) 

Dowd. {excitedly) What's the matter ray darlings I believe she's going 
to die — somebody run for the doctor— (kisses her 

Mrs S. (revives) Oh, Mr. Dowd! (tries to ffet enffay, he prevents her 

Dowd. You shan't go till you've promised to be my wife. 

Mrs S. I — I — prom — prom — ise. 

Dowd. And you '11 marry me ? 

Mrs S. Yes. 

Dowd. (puis arm around her waist) Tell me what frightened you so. 

Mrs S. Oh, Charles, it was a great, ugly rat, and I am so afraid of rats I 

Dowd. I shall from this moment declare an endless peace with all rats 
and mice, and will never have one killed. 

Enter Cesar, c. 

Cesar. 'Cept you find 'em stuck in de butter. Great land ob Moses I 
(Mrs. Sharpe and Dowd, start) Who'd a thunk it I (Mrs. Sharp runs off l. 
Dowd approaches Cesar, reaches for him, he dodges) Didn't mean to ketch ye 
huggin' de ole gal, boss, neber would have comed in dis room if I had a 
knovved it, dat's de bressed truth, boss 1 

Dowd. (hands him a bill) Don't say anything, Cesar ! 

Cesar, (takes it) No, sah, won't say a ward, but boss, better not marry 
dat — 

Dowd. Why not, Cesar ? 

Cesar 'Kase she am jist like a ship. 

Dowd. How is that ? 

Cesar. De riggin' am a gwine to cost ye more'n the bull. 

(Dowi strikes at Cksar — he laughs, and dodges 

Doiod. You're an intpudent, fellow ! 

Cesar. Can't help it, bosa. I'm bound to tell de truth, if I bnrst. 

Dowd. AH right, keep what yuu have seen, a secret. 

Cesar. All right, boss, I'm de one dat can keep a seci"et. 

Dowd. Mind that you don't say a word, then ! (exit 0. 

Cesar Somebody can hit me wid a club! (langhs) De fust time, I 
ikotched de young folks, de young boss gim'iiie five dollars — de next time I 
kotched de ole folks, {lawjhs) deole boss gim'me ten dollars. Believe I '11 
go into de business ob kotchiu' de fellers a huggin' dar sweethearts, (laughs) 
: Hi, golly I didn't de ole man look lunny ? look like he was struck by light- 
uin'. Den de ole gal. (lauglis) De next time de ole boss talks sweet to 
her, I '11 bet dis ten dollar bill, he '11 keep a g9od watch on de back door, 

an* 

Smith rushes in l., followed by two or three books, which are thrown at him 
from outside, 

Cesar. Wha — wha — wha — whats de matter wid yer, Yank ? 

Smith. I've done it — my siterwation ain't worth three shakes of a dead 
sheep's tail 1 

Cesar. What yer been doin', Yank ? 

Smith, (sees Cesar — aside) Here's that nigger, but I dasn't do anything 
to him on account of that tooth-pick he carries. 

Cesar. What's de matter wid yer, ain't gone crazy hab ye? 

Smith. If you had seen what I saw, you'd look like you were crazy too. 

Cesar If I had er seed what you seed, I'd look crazy. Spects now, if 
you'd seed what I seed, you'd be a loon, sure 'nuff. 

Smith. You never seed the ole man a huggin' the ole gal, you didn't ! 

Cesar fairly yells — Smith looks at him in astonishynent, Cesar tries to talk 
but cannot — S?nith catches the laugh — both laug'x boisterovsly — Cesar takes 
hold of Smith. 

Cesar. Don't laugh, Yank, do like me, don't laugh 1 {laughs loudly 



BLACK vs WHITE. 



17 



Smith. I tell you what, it were funny. {laughi 

Cesar. 'Spectd it was 

Smith. You jist ought to seed 'em, Cesar ! 

Cesar. I'd er gibbed de world to seed 'em. {laughsj Smith holds his sides 

Smith. Don't commence again, Cesar, you '11 kill me. 

Cesar. Den I won't. Look a here, Yank, I'm gwine to tell ye a secret — 

won't gib me away, will yer? 



Smith. 
Cesar. 
Smith. 
me? 
Cesar. 
Smith. 
Cesar. 



No, I won't ! 

Well den, I— I— I 

Don't, Cesar, I'm nigh dead now. 



{laughs loudly 
What is it you're goin' to tell 



I seed the ole man a — a — a — {laughs 

Did you now, did you ? Jeru^a — lem I {laughs 

Yae — I — did — I seed de — ole man a huggin' — de ole — 

{holds his sides, and laughs heartily 
Smith. What! did you see 'em? _ {laughs 

Cesar. De ole — man was a — hug — huggin' de ole — gal right — in dis room. 

{both laugh 
Smith. {drops into a chair and wipes his eyes with his coat tail) I'll swar 
to gracious, I ain't larfed so much since 1 can remember. But, Cesar, can 
you sing ? 

Cesar. Yas, a little. 

Smith. Gimme a specimen of yer singin. 

Cesar. Look here, Yank, don't go for to call me any sich names as dat I 
Smith. Why, I never called ye anything that I knowa of. 
Cesar. Ye did ! ye called me a — a — a speckimen, ye did ! 
Smith, {laughs) Why, ye tarnal fool, I wanted ye to sing some song. 
Cesar, [jumps up excitedly — reaches for knife) Call me a fool, will yer! 
I don't 'low no long legged, slab-sided, lean, lank, hungry lookin' white 
man like you to call me a fool. 

Cesar starts towards Smith, who reaches in his pocket and draws out a large 
horse pistol, which he points at Cesar, who drops his knife. 

Smith. Hold on thar — stop whar you air, or this persuader '11 go off and 
bloyr you inter the middle of next week. 

Cesar, {frightened) Put dat cannon up, it might go off, and I ain't no fit 
subject for the bone yard. 

Smith, {puts pistol in pocket.) I jest wanted to show you, I was fixed for 
you. 

Cesar. I was only funnin', Yank. 

Smith. So was I. Give us your song ! 

Cesar. I declare Yank, my throat is so dry dat I can't. {hand to throat 

Smith, {takes bottle fro7n pocket) Here's something '11 wet your throat ! 

Cesar, {takes bottle — drinks it all) I declar, but dat's good stuff 1 What 
—what's de matter wid yer, Yank — why don't yer sit still — Rah, fo' de 
fourth ob July, he am jes' as good a man as de sebenteenth day ob St* 
Patrick's day in de mornin'* Eah ! 

Smith. Hush up, Cesar, don't be a fool 1 

Cesar. I ain't no fool — hie — whar's de man — hie — calls me er — hie — fool 
— I'm srwine to — hie — sing dat — hie — song. {sings 

Smith. Don't make sucti a noise, you/11 have the whole house here. 

Cesar, {very loud) I — hie— don't care — hie— hear dat — hie — Rah I 

Enter, Dowd, and Mrs. Sharpe, L., Julip and May, l. c. 

Dowd. {sees Cesar stagger up to Julip) Bless my soul, Cesar drunk I ^ 

Smith, {aside) Now' 1.5 the time to get even, {aloud) Yaas, Squire, I 
kum in here a while ago, and found him as you see him. 

Cesar, {to Julip) I neber — hie — told de — hie — young boss — hie — nuflSn', 
I — hie — neber.said a — hie — word. 

Julip. Why, what in the world are you talking about, Cesar? 

Cesar, {goes to Mrs. Sharpe) I say I — hie — neber told de ole — hie 



18 BLACK vs WHITE. 

— gal nuffin — hie — yer knows — hie — what I mean — hie — {she slaps him in the 
face) Did yer see dem shootin' siars, boss? — hie — 

Mrs S. Go away from me 1 {pushes him 

Cesar, {goes up to May) Don't mind me — I — hic^neber said a — hie 

{Dowd catches hold of him) Don't, boss, I — hie — aeber told de ole man — ^hic 
— I seed you hug — hie — gin 

Doiod. {in a passion) Come here, James, Smith, everybody I come and 
help me put this infernal nigger in the street. {Smith rushes up 

Cesar. Don't do it, Yank! I neber — hie — told de ole — hie — man dat yer 
told me yer — hie — seed him hug — hie 

Dowd. Here boys, bounce him 1 

They catch him — he tries to sing — Doiod and Julip each take an arm, Smith 
his feet, and move R.) 

Smith, {as they exit) So much for Cesar, throw him in the first ditch I 

{exit B. 
Mrs S. My dear neice, I never felt so mean in. my life,, did you ? 
May. No, never, 
Mrs S. What is tl^e matter with you ? 

May. Why, Aunty — 'Vou — know 

Mrs S. Ah, yes I When is the wedding to be? 
May. I don't know, that good-for noticing Cesar interrupted us. 
Mrs S. Well, we '11 have a doable wedding, Mr. Dowd has asked me to 
marry him, and I have said yes. 
May. Won't that be nice? 

Enter Dowd, and Julip, 0. 

Julip. {crosses to May) Come, May, let's take a walk I' 
May. Very well. {Julip ofers his arm to May, they exit L^ Dowd to Mrs, 
Sharpe, they exit e.) 

Enter, Smith, c, wiping his face with a large red handkerchief,. 

Smith. That thar nigger was the heaviest nigger for a little'un, I ever 
did see ; seems to me he must have weighed over two hundred pouad^ 
I wouldn't have had the kick the old man gin him, fer fifty dollars — 

Enter, Cesar, c. 

Why, he kicked him into the middle of the street. {Cisar shakes fist at 
Smith, takes coat of) Don't reckon he '11 come around here in a hurry. 

Cesar. Yer don't, does yer? 

Smith. Why, Cesar, old boy, didn't think to see you so soon, shake hands^ 

Cesar. Look here, white man, I'ae gwine ter give yer the worst lickin* 
yer ever had I 

Smith, {feels for pistol, but it is gonQ^Czsar diito) Go 'way, Cesar, I 
didn't do nothing ter you 1 

Cesar. Yer neber done nuSa' to me? Yer neber got me drunk? 

Smith. ' No, you got yourself drunk, you drinked all I had. 

Cesar. I don't keer, yer was de cause ob all de trouble ; darfore yer '11 
hab to suffer de consequences. {rushes at Smith, who stumbles over -a chair 

Smith. Fire I Murder! Help! 

Characters all rush in C. 

Dowd. You black rascal, what do you mean by coming back into my 
house after what you have done ? 

Cesar. I axes yer pardon, boss, an' de ladies' — but dar stands de man 
Trhat am de cause ob all de trouble ! 

May. Why, Cesar, be said he found you in here tipsey. 

Cesar. Did yer tell dese folks, dat yer found me in here drank? 



BLACK vs WHITE. 1» 

Omnes. Yes, he did I 

Cesar, {excited) Told I was drunk, did yer? now ye'll git it. (starts for 
Smith, who gets behind Dowd) Get out ob de way, boss, let me get at him ! 

Dowd. {catches Cesar — ladies scream) Be quiet, Cesar, don't you see you 
are alarming the ladies? 

Cesar, {trying to get loose) Can't help it, boss, I don't care f er nuflBn^ 
only to get my two hands on dat Yankee. 

Smith. Don't let him go, Mister Julip, hold him ! 

May. Now, Cesar, be quiet, that's a good fellow 1 

Cesar. But I ain't a good feller, I'm a bad feller I 

Mai/. Why, Cesar I 

Cesar. Can't help it, Miss May, I'm 

Dowd. If you '11 be quiet, Cesar ; I'll give you your situation again. 

Cesar. De only situwation I wants now, is to be at dat Yankee {gets loose- 
runs at Smith, who runs out c.) Great Julius Cesar! I neber was so mad 
afore. I neber would er got so mad, if he hadn't tole er lie on me ! 

Omnes. Told a lie on you ? 

Cesar. Yas. Now, ladies, an' gents. I '11 tell yer all about it. Boss, yer 
know when I comed in here. {Doiod bows) Arter yer went out, dat feller 
come in, an' he axed me to sing, I tole him my throat was too dry to sing — 
den he pulled out a bottle an' tole me to take a drink, an' den 

May. Then what! 

Cesar. Den I took a drink, an' yer all knows what happened. 

Dowd. If that is the case, we will forgive him, won't we, ladies? 

^-«- } Certainly. 

Ces'dr. Now, ladies an' gents, I has one question to axe yer. 
May. What is it, Cesar ? {goes to his h. 

Mrs S. Ask, and we will answer. {on his R. 

Julip. Hurry up, Cesar ! {by May 

Dowd. What's the matter, Cesar ? {by Mrs. Sharpe. 

Cesar, {grins) Why am dia chile like a hunter's big horse when he- 
comes back from a hunt in Mississippi ? {they appear to be thinking/ 
Julip. I can't think for the life of me. 
Mrs S. What is the answer, Cesar? 

Dowd. I must confess your question quite staggers me, Cesar? 
May. I am dying to know, Cesar? 
Cesar. 'Kase 1 has dears on eider side ob me. 

«. Li. 

Mrs, Sharpe and Dowd. Cesar. May and Julip, 

CURTAIN. 



To Our Customers. 

Amateur companies frequently have trouble in procuring Plays well adapted to their 
wants, frequently ordering perhaps five dollara worth in single copies, before anything- 
suitable can be found. All this can be done away with. Our catalogue embraces plays- 
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quirments of iheir companies, there need be no trouble in this line, at least. If a tem- 
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and tragedies, which ivill "suit you. Enclose 15 cents per copy for as many sample copies 
as you may need, and we guarantee to suit you, if you will state the size of your compa- 
ny, and whether best adapted to the serious or funny. Give us a trial, at least. 

A. I>. AMES, Pub., Clyde, Ohio,. 



A. D. AMES, FQBLISHER, CLYDE, 0. 



OUR BUSmESS-WHAT WE BO. 

PLATS. We sell everything in the line of dramas and farces, and call 
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suitable for any and all companies, andif our friends will write to us, state- 
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and we guarantee to suit you, if you will state the size of your company, 
aud whether best adopted to the serious or funny. Give us a trial at least. 
MAGNESIUM TABLEA U LIGHTS. There is scarcely a person who 
has not been annoyed by the smoking of colorea fires, which are so often 
used on tableaux, and whole scenes in dramas have been ruined by the 
coughing and noise always attendant on their use. We earnestly recom- 
mend the use of the Magnesium lights. They can be ignited with a common 
match, and burn with wonderful brilliancy. There is no danger in their use; 
^ they make no smoke and are cheap. Price, 25 cents each, by mail, post 
paid. Those who do not know how to burn them, will be instructed by 
addressing tii« publisher. 



AMES' SERIES OF 

STANDARD AND MINOR DRAMA, 



The Turn of the Tide 

The Biter Bit 

Tiie Mischievous Nigger 

The Beauty of Lyons 

The Gentleman in Black 

The Lady of Lyons 

The Studio 

The Vow of the Ornani 

The Better Halt 

The Brigands of Calabria 

The Serf 

The Poacher's Doom 

The Hunter of the Alps 

Thirty-Three Next Birthday 

The Painter of Ghent 

The Mistletoe Bough 

The Miller ot Derwent Water 

The Bewitched Closet 



Through Snow and Sunshine 

That Mysteiions Bundle 

The Two T. J's. 

Ten Nights in a Bar- Room 

Three Glasses a Day 

That Boy Sam 

Tlie False Friend 

The Sham Pro.essor 

The Reward of Crime 

The Deuce is in Him 

The Coming Man 

Twain's Dodging 

Vow of the Ornani 

When Women Weep 

Wen at Last 

Wooing Under Difficulties 

Wrecked 

Which Will He Marry 



READ THESE INSTRUCTIONS. 



.yo plays eji:chanfje(L 

Xo plays bent ('.0. D. 

Xo orders filled without the cash. 

Xo discounts on a number of plays. 
Xo plays sent subject to return. 



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registered letter, or draft on New York. Small amounts may be. 
sent in 1, 2, or 3 cent postage stamps Avith but little risk. 

Do not waste your own, and our tune by asking us if we can 
send you a certain play, but enclose your money, 15 cents per 
copy. • If it is published we will send it, otherwise we will notify 
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money. 

Please notice that we will not fill orders by telegraph, from 
parties unknown to us, and will not send plays to any one C. 0. D. 

A complete descriptive Catalogue, giving the number and des- 
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of the plot, will be sent free to any one. 

Our books may be ordered from any respectable bookseller iu 
the United States and Canada. However if you have trouble in 
getting *'Ames' Edition" send directly to us. 



NEW MILITARY ALLEGORY. 



Tlie Spy or Atlanta. 

A jrrnnd military allegory in 6 acts, by A. D Ames and C. G. 
Bnrtley, 14 male, 8 female characters, with as muMV supernumary 
la.^.ies aud.gpnts as the stage may afl'ord room for. This great play 
is foiunitd on incidents which actually occured duriiig the war of 
the Rebellion — it introduces Ohio's brave and gallant McPherson — 
the actual manner of his capture and death is shown. It abounds 
with tho mo3t beauti.fuHableaux, drill, marches, scenes upon the 
battle f >ld', ih Andersonville, etc., and is pronounced by the press 
and pu:*ric. the most successfifl military play ever produced. G. A. 
K. Poksts, Military Companies and other or<ianizatioiis, who may 
wish soniethitig which will draw, should produce it. U may not be 
out of place. to add that this play with the incidents ot the death of 
the gallaiit JMcPherson, was written with the full consent of the 
General's brother, 11. B. McPherson, siwce dead, who fully approved 
nf it. Below willbe found a synopsis of incidents, etc. 

SYNOPSIS OF INCIDENTS. 

Act 1st. Honieof Farmer Dalton. "don't talk politics." The dinner liour. 
N'cws from Foi*tSuin]>tcr, and call for 75,000 men. Quarrelof old friends. 
"Tlicy hung traitors in former times." Oath of vengeance. The patriotii; 
Dutcliuiiiil. Jlis wondGrful story. Husband and wife. "Go, and may God 
bless you." Little Willie. "Dot dog." The Dutchman organizes a compa- 
ny. Flirting of lovers, and "parting for ever." "Country lirst and love 
afterwards." Schneider, the Dutchman, and his new company. He means 
business and: shows his "poy-s" that he understands military business. En- 
1 sting. Schneider and his company sign the rolls. The Daltons. "Hus- 
band, nuist you go?" . Duty. Little Willie. "Please, mother, may I go?" 
PrescMtaiion of the flag. Parting of loved ones. 

Act 2nd. Camp by night. The letter from liome. Army duties. Songs 
and merriment. "Tenting on the old camp ground." Inspection of the 
regiment. Generals McPherson and Sherman. News from Atlanta. A 
brave man required. The dangerous mission. Promise of promotion given 
])y McPiierson. Departure of the spy. The Confederate camp. (Japt. St. 
Clair's soliloquy. Plotting. Pete. The old Negro is u:?ed rather roughly, 
leather and son. The man who stutters so badly. The discovery. "A spy." 
"Do your. wwst, you cowardly traitor." Pete makes himself useful. "No 
Cfiauce Of life." 'Thrilling tableau and capture of St. Clair. Escape of St. 
' ClrJr. Tho pursuit. Generals JsIcPherson and Sherman. News from ihe 
- front, Mcl'herson jireparing for battle. Firing on the left. "I must at once 
ascertjiiii the cause." The rebel squad. McPlierson's danger. "Halt and 
surrender." 'J'he fatal shot. "It is General McPlierson ; you liave killed 
llie best man in the Union Armv." 

ACToil. ll-turn of thespy. Sherman bears of the death of his friend. The 
eiiemy s ihicsin motion. The long roll and general engagement. 

Act 4th. Battlefield by night. "Water! I am dying for the want of water." 
Little Willie. The traitor forgiven. Edwin and Willie are made prisoners. 
The discovery, and«renewal oi the oath of vengeance. 

Act 5th. Andersonville with all its horrors. Hope of being exchanged. The 
', last crust of bread. St. Clair informs Edwin of the arrival of his wife. 
' Fears of insanity, and prayers to God for reason to know her. The maniac. 

' "Oil, brother, don't you know me? I am your brother Willie." Maud ar- 
rives. Terror on beholding her husband. "He must know me." The pic- 
ture. The recognition of the picture, and "you are — no I can not be wrong, 
vou are Maud, mv wife, thank God." Villa"inv of St. Clair. The cry for 
bread. Bravery of Willie. The fatal shot, and death of the brave boy. 
Madness. The curse. "Boys, let us pray that this may soon end." The 
rescue.. 

Act 6th. News of the surrender of Lee. The new love. The vacant chair. 
Happiness of Pete. Return of the boys, and joyful meeting of loved ones. 
Bummer's march, and beautiful tableau. 



Price, 25 cents per copy. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 





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